Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
