i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
