is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
