Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
