This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
