I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We just shotgunned beers for America
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This is the high leading the old right now
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
