I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The adults are the big ones right?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
