Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Be still, my beating vagina.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
