she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
