ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
