ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
