She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
