either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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