I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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