OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you win again, gameday.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
