You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
