went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
How external is "for external use only"?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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