Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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