there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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