I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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