We're facebook friends in real life
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
