Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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