and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
