You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
