these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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