I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
