I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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