vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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