i love accidental penises.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
