apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
