They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
