maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
