i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
