$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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