The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
