This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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