You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
