ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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