you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
