***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
