One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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