he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
