I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
