you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
