you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
