spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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