my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
