There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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