if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just invented taco cereal.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
