Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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