"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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